Why does eharmony reject people

DTL in the San Francisco Chronicle that talk about the trend toward taking relationships more seriously. I think these trends will only get bigger over time and are very healthy in the long run.

A little surprised but definitely not chagrined! I was actually wondering about the size of the user-base at CompatiblePartners. It seemed to me that if a company were intentionally excluding me but then made a service so that I could be included, I might not be inclined to use that service!

Especially considering it took a lawsuit to get to that point. Many years ago, a year after the breakup of a very long relationship, I decided to try out this new website I had heard of.

It had been designed by Doctor Earl Clark Warren, a pastor and a psychologist. Their stated mission of using scientific matching algorithms to find compatible couples appealed strongly to the engineer in me. So, emotionally adrift and yet still hopeful, I logged into eHarmony. I was ready to start a new life after this arduous process. But then, a curious thing happened. But no, I was given the same response. So I, being the indefatigable sort, shrugged and went on with my life.

A year later, I decided to try it again. I created another e-mail account, built another eHarmony. And once again I was told that eHarmony could not help me at this time. Now I was profoundly intrigued. I began using that most democratic of research tools, Google. What I found was astounding. Neither one was true with me.

So I dug further. I found an eHarmony forum, where users could discuss their experiences. I was not the first rejectee to come on there and ask about that. The responses of the eHarmony members were startling. Such elitist attitudes were pretty darn annoying to me, but since they were profoundly unscientific, I told myself not to care about them.

As an experiment, I created a third e-mail account and a third eHarmony. This time, when I took the survey, I answered each question completely randomly. In disgust, I deleted my profile and logged off. Then, a few months later, I finally found what I was looking for. On an obscure video sharing website this was long before the advent of YouTube , I found a video of Doctor Neil Clark Warren being interviewed about his creation on a local television talk show.

Towards the end of the interview was the question I was looking for. Why, the host asked, does your website reject some people? So now let us fast forward to Here I sit at my computer on the eve of my fifth wedding anniversary to my wonderful wife. I gaze over at our beautiful baby daughter, and I can sincerely say this from my heart:.

You were wrong. So I guess I try to hang around art museums and galleries etc. Post a Comment. Over a million people, to be specific. I assumed they just said that in order to make their service more desirable, on the theory that appearing to have higher standards would give them more of an allure.

Remember the immortal words of Groucho Marx: "I wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have me as a member. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match. Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you.

Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

What gives? Neil Clark Warren. So goes the assault on eHarmony. A few months ago, after friends related their experiences with dates set up through eHarmony, I decided to give it a try. After an hour of rating myself on hundreds of criteria, I was dying for the ordeal to end. Still, I carefully considered the questions and statements, answering them honestly. After all that? The eHarmony rejection page tried to let me down easy. My friends accused me of lying about being rejected.

I got on Google and found numerous stories of other rejections. Next, my friends accused me of fouling up the survey on purpose.

But I had answered honestly. That may have been the problem. Neil Clark Warren, an evangelical Christian. So I decided to take the questionnaire again, answer it honestly again. The first section provides 19 statements. You choose how closely each describes you, on a scale from 1 not at all to 7 very much. Later sections are similar. I gave myself a 5 for I take time out for others and I usually stand up for myself. Then again, I had to give myself a 5 for I anger easily. Then it got tough. I went with 6 for quarrelsome because, well, I often am.